I used to be part of over ten Whatsapp groups. To me that always seemed a lot but I have since then learned that most of us ‘participate’ in even more. In the one I was more active than the other but nevertheless they were always there. Even when muted, still demanding my attention. The real unnecessary groups I had left as soon and as quietly as possible. But with these last ten I knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed, it felt rude to leave and was any reason good enough?
And so I stayed.
Until I made the detox decision. Somehow that felt legit enough to moonwalk out of those online spaces that were unnecessarily clouding my brain. And it was. Most respected what I was about to do, some were shocked that I thought life without whatsapp was possible, a few let me know they would love to do the same.
The days that followed I had fun going back to texting on my brand new oldskool Nokia. It was an interesting experiment, and still is to this day. Where I used to have at least 20 pending/open whatsapp conversations, now my text traffic is limited to 10 people. Our childcare, my siblings, my core friends, husband and family in law. No group text, no group pressure, no blue vinks and no 5+ minute voice notes that I used to play at double speed.
But most interestingly, the texts that I do send and receive are so much more meaningful. They are short and sweet or short and clear, or short and activate me to call right there and then. And the best part, my phone doesnt ‘read’ emoticons, so whatever emotions would or would have not been lost in translation, I simply don’t see.
Does this mean my social life has gone down the drain?
– The opposite
With my core people our communication has naturally transformed into something better. I call my friends and family more and the hunger for real live contact is more urgent, in a good way.
The idea of going back to whatsapp is intensely off putting. For me whatsapp was a space created to make you feel like you have a social life, and that you are connected and that there is a nice flow of communication coming in and going out, but it is a superficial kind of contact. Looking back, that flow of contact was not feeding me. As if the unnecessary noise was blocking the sound of real intentional messages and calls.
Going back to texting has given me a better overview of which relationships are key. And in those connections nothing is ever pending. There are no blue marks. It’s either red or green.
How would a life without Whatsapp look for you?
Rachida –