Around the time my twins would almost turn one (still no idea how I survived), I found myself still feeling tired, overwhelmed, stressed, unfocused and downright not myself. If you are a new mom, you will identify with this feeling. I have since learned that every mom finds her own way to re-introduce herself to her new body and life and embrace it.
For me the way out of feeling depleted was to think BIG thoughts. Being a slightly ADHD, creative, intuitive, extravert, I am all about big thoughts, strong words followed by big moves. Conclusion in my head: ‘Something needs to change, so let’s do something BIG!’ No idea what that looked like but maybe Instagram had ideas, or at least some fresh pretty pictures to scroll past.
With a simple touch it’s light went on while my inner-light was dimming down
As I was staring at my phone, for the 100th time that day, feeling miserable, bored yet overwhelmed, overstimulated yet empty, I started to actually focus on the rectangle black shiny thing that was staring back at me (instead of the flashy things it was showing me). With a subtle touch its light went on while the deeper I dove into it the more my innerlight was dimming down.
Sitting in that space, with my legs curled up and my neck in a position that would require the chiropractor later that week, I kept scrolling. In the back of my head I could hear the surprised voice of my chiropractor. About how I was stiff all over again. About how I needed to do my exercises at home. And how I would tell him that I never got around to it being with the twins full time. It was my full time excuse to change nothing.
Sitting there on the couch, I knew that this was time.
This exact screen time was the time I could be doing something active instead of reactive. That would make the cracks at chiro less loud and just less. Grabbing my phone at the end of the day, or the middle of the day or the beginning of the day is a happy place, a place to escape the bottles that needed sterilising and the washed clothes needing to be put away. But in that clear headed moment it didn’t look that way. At that moment it was as if I got re-introduced to my phone in an irreversible way.
Huh, would you look at that? Instagram did give me the BIG idea I was searching for, but probably not the one Mark Zuckerburg was hoping for.
Rachida –